


While I'm Alive

by LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 07:36:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11916192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou/pseuds/LoveMeThatsAllIAskOfYou
Summary: Magnus finds himself in Alec's office where his insecurities to get the better of him.  Alec shows him what he's been up to and how much he loves Magnus.





	While I'm Alive

Magnus was cleaning his apartment. Nothing like spring cleaning to brighten up one's day. He was never a fan of clutter. After centuries, he had learned to only keep things that hold monetary or emotional value. Everything else would eventually go. He always had the cleanest apartment out of all his friends. Things changed when Alec moved in three months ago. 

Alec wasn't messy. He was just so focused on leading the Institute he would forget small things, like putting his used coffee mug in the sink. As much as Magnus enjoyed no longer being alone in his loft, it annoyed him to no end at Alec's absent-mindedness. Whenever the topic was brought up, Alec flashed this apologetic smile and promise to not do it again. Magnus always caves. He couldn't stay upset with his Alexander even when he knew the next morning he'd find that damn empty coffee mug sitting on the table. 

Magnus made his way to Alec's office. He converted one of the rooms he wasn't using to give Alec space. This allowed Alec to take work home. He could work on reports, and Magnus could have his boyfriend home. He felt it was the perfect compromise. As Magnus made his way to the desk, he saw that Alec had left the computer on. Sitting in Alec's leather chair, he looked up to the screen surprised to see Alec's webcam was on. A familiar voice boomed through the loft.

"Magnus, babe, where are you?" 

Startled Magnus answered. "In your office, honey." 

Steps got closer as Alec made his way to Magnus. When Alec entered the room and saw Magnus sitting at his desk, he looked guilty. This caused his stomach to flip why would his Alexander need to feel guilty? His webcam was on and he looked like a child who got caught with his hand in cookie jar.

"What are you doing in my office?" Alec questioned. 

"I was doing spring cleaning. I was just going to dust when I noticed your computer was still on. I know I have some gained wealth over my years but I didn't want to waste it on the electricity bill." 

Alec refused to look at Magnus, he was fidgeting under his gaze. Why was Alec squirming? 

"Is there a reason I shouldn't be allowed in a room in our home?" 

"Magnus..."Alec tried interrupting but Magnus stood up with such force it shut the younger man up. 

"No, I'm getting the idea you're hiding something from me. You have your guilty face on, and you don't want me in your office. I'm asking the questions now. We've been dating for almost a year. What are you nervous about?" 

Alec turned on his heels to walk out the door but Magnus brought his hand up to shut the door. Similarly to when he slammed the door in Jocelyn's face months ago. 

"Don't you dare walk away from me, Alexander!" His voice mixed with fear and anger.

Alec turned back to see Magnus' face which had a lone tear making a trail down his left cheek. When he took a step towards the desk, Magnus crossed his arms protectively over his stomach. Alec stopped moving. 

"I don't care what you've done, darling. Just don't walk out on me. My heart can't handle it. I can't breathe thinking of all the possibilities." 

"Magnus, I haven't done anything. There is no need to..." 

"I swear, if you say be dramatic, I will create a portal to the Institute and shove you through it. Don't test me, Alexander." Magnus said angrily but his voice cracked, "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. Please just tell me I wasn't a fool." 

Magnus had been distracted by his own pain, staring intently at the wall behind Alec, that he didn't notice Alec moving towards him. That was until Alec's hand covered his own. He still refused to look at him as Alec brought the hand to his lips and kissed it. 

"I was going to say there is no need to panic. And you aren't a fool. Never a fool. I love you. Please, just sit down in the chair." 

Magnus resisted, "No, Alexander. Tell me what is going on." 

"Sit down. I'll show you." 

Magnus looked at the sincere look in Alec's eyes. Sighing, he collapsed into the chair. Alec stepped next to him and took charge of the computer. Magnus had forgotten about the webcam. He watched as Alec opened up a folder that was titled "After Me." Alec clicked on the first file. When the video opened to a blank screen, Alec cleared his throat. 

"Watch this video and only this video then meet me in the bedroom. We need to talk about what caused you to be so upset. I love you, my silly warlock." 

Alec then kissed Magnus on the forehead and left the room. Magnus hovered over the play button. When he finally had the courage to press play. He was greeted with a smiling Alec. 

"Hey, baby. If you are watching this, it means that I've passed away. We always knew it was going to happen, but it doesn't make it any easier. As of today, we have been together for 5 months. And these have been the best five months of my life. You have become so ingrained in my heart that I can't imagine life without you. And now you are in a life without me. That breaks my heart more than you know but I know you are so strong..." 

Magnus had to pause the video. He felt like he was on fire, taking a few deep breaths he pressed the play button again.

"Regardless of your strength, I don't want you to push people away. I don't want you to do this alone. When this video ends, you are to call Catarina. And I know you just rolled your eyes at me..." 

This caused Magnus to laugh because he did roll his eyes at that line. Alec knew him so well. 

"When I met you, you told me you closed yourself off for a century. And as much as my death will cause you to want to that again. Please, don't. I want you to live, laugh, and love again. The world is a better place when you laugh. I'm not expecting it to be today or tomorrow but promise me that you'll try. I'm doing a video for you, every single day we are together. So, for however many days I get to call you mine, you'll have a video to keep forever. Now, Magnus Bane, the Love of My Life, I'm going to tell you one reason that I love you. Reason one: from the beginning, you accepted me when I didn't know how to love myself. There is someone out there, right now who needs a person like you to save them from themselves. Go be their hero, like you were mine. I love you, and not even death will take that away from you." 

On screen, Alec awkwardly blew a kiss towards the camera and the video faded to black. Magnus couldn't think straight. He always pushed the idea of Alec's death to the back of his mind. Now he sits here not being able to breathe without wanting to cry. He is the High Warlock of Brooklyn, he doesn't break down like this. He gets angry, he breaks things but he doesn't cry. As his thoughts were taken over by many ways that Alec could die, he finally cracked. Tears spilled from eyes and he let out a loud sob. He tried to stand up but even holding tightly to the dark wooden desk, he collapsed on the floor. 

The door flew open, and Alec was by his side in seconds. Magnus felt the Shadowhunter pick up into his arms, carrying him in bridal position towards the bedroom. They both needed to hold each other. When he could speak again, Magnus asked,

"I thought you'd be waiting for me in the bed?"

"Did you really think I wasn't going to be sitting right outside the door? I had a feeling you'd react this way. You were so happy when I came home; I didn't want to ruin your day. That is why I tried to evade your questions. I'm sorry you thought I was being unfaithful." 

Magnus froze in Alec's arms, "I never said that." 

"You didn't have to, Camille did a number on your heart. I'm not sure what hurts more, that you thought I would cheat on you or that you were going to stay with me even if I did." 

"Alexander, I'm sorry..." 

Magnus stopped, getting distracted by Alec putting him down on their bed. He continued to be silent as Alec removed his shirt. When Alec climbed into bed next to Magnus, he pulled the older man towards him. 

"Magnus Bane, what am I going to do with you?" Alec chuckled, "You know I love you, with everything that I am. I had forgotten how to smile before I met you."

"You were stuttering." Magnus reminded him. 

"I had never met a man as beautiful as you. The English language escaped me. I had seen pictures of you, but I wasn't prepared for how you'd take my breath away in person. I don't think anyone is ever prepared to meet the High Warlock of Brooklyn." 

The couple stayed quiet, taking in the intimacy of holding each other close. Magnus couldn't believe he had gotten so lucky. He thought back to the video. 

"Did you mean it?" Magnus asked breaking the silence.

"You'll have to be more specific." 

"Do you really think of me as your hero?" 

Alec hugged Magnus tighter, "Yes, Magnus, you seem to forget when I unlocked something in you, you unlocked something in me. You gave me the courage to be myself. I may have been stubborn, but I came around when it counted." 

"Ah, yes, the kiss that will probably go down as the most interesting thing that has happened in the New York Institute." 

"I thought that was the arrival of Clary Fairchild." 

"No, Alexander, my darling Alexander. I promise you; people will be talking about that kiss for centuries." 

"You talking to anyone who will listen about it doesn't count," Alec teased. 

Magnus leaned up and kissed Alec. When he pulled away, all he could see was love in Alec's eyes. Alec's hands made contact to cup his face. 

"I'm going to love you for the rest of my life. I'm going to show you how amazing you are and how much you are worth. And I don't mean as the High Warlock of Brooklyn, I mean as Magnus Bane. The man behind the glitter and flashy clothes. I'm going to do my best to love you, so you'll love yourself." 

"You are too good to me. I'm sorry I thought for a moment that you were having an affair," Magnus said ashamed. 

"I forgive you. I forgave you the moment I saw how scared you were. I know you have insecurities; we both do but I love you. Don't forget that. This is the first relationship I've been in but I don't want to experience this with anyone else." 

Alec flipped Magnus, so he was underneath the Shadowhunter. He kissed Magnus, starting soft but put in more force as his tongue ran across Magnus' bottom lip. Alec kissed along Magnus' jaw until he reached his neck. The contact caused Magnus' to moan. The sensation of Alec smiling into his neck caused Magnus to smile as well. 

"Plus, while I'm alive, no one will hear you make those sounds. No one will make you moan but me." 

Magnus' eyes closed as he tilted his head back to expose more of his neck. Alec continued to suck on a new spot as he let his hand travel down Magnus' abdomen. When Alec reached for Magnus' belt with the intent to open it, he stopped. 

Magnus whined, "Alexander..." 

"While I'm alive, I will never let you forget how much I love you."

Magnus shuddered at the words. His eyes opened when he felt Alec put a hand over his clothed length, slowly stroking. Alec brought his lips to Magnus' ear and whispered, 

"While I'm alive. If I'm still breathing. Magnus, no one and I mean no one will get the luxury of making love to you."

"So, why don't you show me how it's done, Shadowhunter?" Magnus taunted.

The growl that left Alec's mouth caused Magnus to smirk in anticipation. Magnus snapped his fingers, and the lights dimmed. Their clothes found themselves a new home on the floor. As Alec made his way down Magnus' chest, leaving kisses and bite marks as a trail back to Magnus' lip. Magnus knew it was going to have one hell of a night. He looked forward to a life with Alexander Lightwood, the man who showed him how to live again within the darkness of immortality.


End file.
